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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28712067">dreams don't come with instruction manuals</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/seo_crystaaaal/pseuds/seo_crystaaaal'>seo_crystaaaal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, DoKun is Chenle's parents, Dreams, High School Students NCT Dream, M/M, Mild Angst, Older members are adults, Self-Growth, i don't proofread pls spare me, implied depression, it's not THAT dark, not romance focused, pianist! chenle, scholar! jisung, self-confidence issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:09:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28712067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/seo_crystaaaal/pseuds/seo_crystaaaal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chenle is a child prodigy pianist in China who found escape in Korea when he makes a mistake in a piano competition and cannot handle the disappointment. There, he meets Jisung who is the top student in their high school who only knows how to study.  One is lost in his life and another smiles while ignoring his nightmares. Together, they try to make sense of their lives.</p><p>or,</p><p>Chenle is a child prodigy. Jisung is the top student in class. They both excel in their fields, but they aren't as happy as everyone thinks they are.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Qian Kun, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah… why did I have to get that one note wrong… </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chenle lamented while staring blankly at the grand piano in front of him. He can see the busy streets of Shanghai from the tall windows of the penthouse in the background. Everyone was walking fast. A few of them walk and chat with their friends. Some were alone, looking at their watches every now and then, obviously anxious to be on time with their schedules.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were all so different from him who stayed unmoving in the dark and empty room for hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the first time ever in his life to stare at his piano so devoid of feelings. He remembers vividly what happened the day before. He was so confident on winning the piano competition like every other competition he joined, so confident that his fingers will remember the keys and to never be one beat earlier or later- but it all went to vain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lele please, you need to eat your dinner. You skipped your meals all day.” He hears a knock and the familiar voice of his father, Kun. But Chenle does not have the energy to yell in response. He just felt so... </span>
  <em>
    <span>empty</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Kun was getting nervous. This is the first time Chenle lost a competition and his paternal instincts tell him it’s not a simple matter. Another voice which he recognized as his stepfather, Doyoung’s, said “It’s okay if you still don’t have the appetite. Just let me know when you’re ready and I’ll reheat it for you. Always remember that we love you, son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He heard the steps of his fathers getting farther away, until all he heard was silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he hated it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The deafening silence takes him back to the theatre hall yesterday. He was playing his favorite piece by Chopin and letting himself be in tune with the melody. But all of a sudden, for a reason he himself does not know, his mind blanked out and his fingers pressed the wrong key. He sobered up immediately when he heard that note, higher than what he intended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to stop right at that moment but knew he needed to continue, and so that is what he did. Maybe he can save a little more of his dignity by doing that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But for the moments after, all he remembered were the stares that almost bore holes in his head. The audience’s silence which originally made him comfortable was suddenly a source of his anxiety. He can almost hear them thinking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Did I hear it right?’</span>
  </em>
  <span> or </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘This is the level of the known child prodigy Zhong Chenle?’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, or even worse </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘He’s nothing’</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Nonetheless, Chenle struggled to complete the piece. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that time, he just wants to close his eyes and ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he continued pressing the succeeding keys. Every single one of them was perfect just like what he practiced. Every single one of them was nothing like that one incorrect note, but the rest of the piece meant nothing already. He screwed up and there’s no remedy for that. When it ended, he stood up and faked the bright smile he was known for. Rather than looking at every section of the audience like he normally would, his eyes just stayed to his fathers who were sitting in the front row with the biggest fatherly smiles in their faces and the loudest claps in the room. Their eyes are telling him ‘It’s okay, you did well,’ but Chenle knows he did not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle remembers walking out of the theatre hall that night and the way murmurs kept following him all the way to the exit, </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I watched because of Zhong Chenle but it turns out he was nothing.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Zhong Chenle’s career is over, isn’t it?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The music world is small, I’m sure everyone knows by now.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look at him. How could he still smile?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled to himself in the dark room, “What now, do I not have the right to smile after making a mistake?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle is not normally like this empty person, though, and he knows that. He is this bright, lovely, borderline noisy person that the grandmothers love. He thought, maybe all of this will pass someday. After all, he knows plenty of pianists who have their fair share of downfalls and found their way to rise back up. It’s just one wrong note, why the hell is he treating it like the end of the world?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For now, he decides that neither today or someday soon will be that day he rises back up. And no, he will not let his friends or anybody he’s close with see him in his worst state. He wants to keep his reputation like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How, though?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking was hard on an empty stomach, and he almost went back to his blank state of mind dejected. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right.</span>
  </em>
  <span> His parents are businessmen who thought moving to Shanghai is just another capitalistic move. Shanghai was not their first home. It’s not even the country where their family and close friends are living at.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, he pulls his body up and heavily walks down to the living room where he saw his fathers watching something on the television.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baba and Appa, I want to stay in Korea for a while.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah… why do I had to get that one item wrong… </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jisung wondered while their Math teacher said his final greetings and walked out of the room. Everyone around him cheered as it signalled the start of their lunchtime, unaware of their classmate's suffering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he knew it, a hand snatched his test paper. "Eh? How did you only get one point wrong? You said you did not study." Jaemin said, marvelling at his friend's high score.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I did not study so I got that one point wrong. I'm so screwed!" Jisung explained, already rearranging his timetable so he could polish his Math skills more tonight. It was Jisung's normal behavior that every time he does not achieve his goal, he would try his best to compensate. Most of the time, it exhausts him but then he has a reputation to uphold and people to satisfy. Personally, he couldn't care less but who cares about himself, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun, their chinese friend who moved to Korea two years ago, came and dragged them out of the room which ended their conversation abruptly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Much to Renjun’s dismay, the cafeteria was bustling with students by the time they came. "If I run out of bulgogi, this is all your fault. Who even cares about test scores?" Renjun grumbled to his two friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Jisung was out of it. All he can think of was that one mistake and how he could compensate for that. He is on scholarship with cut-off grades, thus he can’t afford to make mistakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line was long, but it was not boring. Jaemin, as the student council president, has a personality of a social butterfly and would greet some people he sees every now and then. Meanwhile, Renjun ranted about the teachers to the absent-minded Jisung. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung was only pulled out from his absent-mindedness when Lee Jeno, the council’s batch representative, came into his perspective and made a beeline to the president. Jisung and Renjun met eyes, with the same glint of mischievousness in them. Jaemin has been crushing on Jeno since middle school. He is also the main reason behind why his friend ran for the president position: because historically, Jeno’s crushes have been student council presidents. </span>
  <em>
    <span>All for the name of love</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jisung guesses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Jaemin! Do you know where the teacher put the files of the new student coming in tomorrow? Since you know, I will be the one introducing him to the school.” Jeno asked with his usual eye smile. Jisung could almost see his friend melting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, right. It’s in the council room somewhere. Maybe look at the secretary’s desk?” Jaemin muttered and honestly, he sounded foolish. Jeno said a thank you and left as fast as he came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them followed the retreating figure and as soon as he was out of their sights, Renjun said “That’s it? He could’ve just texted you if it’s only that. I’m telling you, he likes you too. I’m sure of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it, Renjun. You’re getting his hopes high.” Jisung said, being the voice of reason for the trio.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, it’s like Jaemin heard nothing and said with starry eyes, “He’s so dreamy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing his friend get starry eyed, Jisung knows they’ll get nowhere and just shifts the topic, “So, new student?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. Heard he’s like, from China or somewhere?” Jaemin said, so unsure of the information.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What a president you are.” Renjun drily told him. “Anyways, I want to tell you that I’m taking a month off from school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of his friends stared at him, wide-eyed at the information he just dropped. A whole month?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure taking a month of absence will cause you suspension?” Jaemin asked with uncertainty “I remember reading it from the handbook..?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun just stared at him incredulously. “President-nim, it’s an excused absence. I’ve already talked to my teachers and they’re willing to let me pass my requirements online. It’s the 21st century, you see.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For why, though?” Jisung asked, not understanding why the hell his friend would take a whole month off. Everyone hates school, but he’s pretty sure it’s not to that extent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss my boyfriend. Lucas from China, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excused absence, my ass. You just bribed the teachers didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Jaemin, everything is capitalism now, you see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rich kids. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jisung thought as he drowned out his friends’ petty argument. He’s not bitter though, it’s just the way life is. He just focused on making a timetable on his mind, grimacing when he remembered he still can’t understand a single thing about calculus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next few days passed by normally. Other than that of Renjun leaving, there was nothing else notable. It was less noisy for Jisung, but he loved that. Don’t get it wrong. He loves his friends, but they always invite him out to eat or play after classes. Jisung secretly loves it though, they always are a valid reason for him to take a break from academics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speaking of, he saw Jaemin step in the library and walk towards him. Jisung almost scoffed. Jaemin and libraries are a very unlikely pair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hear me out, Jisung. Stop reading those for a moment.” Jisung thought he was imagining the pouty tone in his friend’s voice, a tone he only hears when he complains about Jeno. When Jaemin confiscated Jisung’s books, he just let him. “Jeno is cheating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure you have no relationship with Jeno for him to be able to cheat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to hurt me like that but go off, I guess. Anyways, you remember I mentioned that there’s a new student that came a few days ago, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung is quite sure Jaemin never mentioned a new student other than that one time Jeno asked for his files, and that he’s from China or somewhere. “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So since Jeno is the batch rep, he was assigned to tour the new student around and like, be his buddy so that he could adapt more quickly. But! It’s been days and they still keep hanging out with each other. I even saw Jeno laughing with the new guy in the hallways. Jeno laughing! Can’t you believe it? I’ve seen him smile everywhere but not laugh. If only you saw him laughing, Jisung. It was life changing, that I can tell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that good news? As the president, you should make sure that the new guy is well adapted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, yeah. But what if Jeno likes him?” Jaemin asked, with eyes reminding Jisung of a puppy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet they’re just friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t ever be too sure!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung eyed his friend. There’s no way he is telling him of this without a plan. “What do you want me to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be friends with the new student.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung just scoffed and tried to steal his books away from his friend but Jaemin’s grasp is too tight. Tired, he just sighed exasperatedly, “Why don’t you do it yourself? You’re a social butterfly anyway!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve thought about that but what if he turns out to be my enemy? That would be too weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So? They say keep your friends close, but enemies closer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will give Seungmin-hyung’s old notes to you.” Jaemin bargained, knowing well that Jisung can’t resist Seungmin’s notes as he was the top one of last year’s batch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Jisung did take the bait. The next thing he knew he was out in the hallways searching for a new face, which proved to be a challenge because first, he does not know even the name of the new student and second, he is not a socialite to recognize a new face. Everyone is a stranger to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Fortunately, he met Jeno in the hallway. “Um, Jeno?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jaemin’s friends right? Hi! What can I do for you?” interesting, Jisung thinks. He knows about Jaemin enough to know about his friend group. Maybe betting against Renjun was a bad idea. But then, Jisung thinks, everyone is Jaemin’s friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Moon-songsaengnim asked me to check if the new student is faring well in his Math class. Do you know where I can see him? And what his name is?” Of course, it was a lie. Jisung does not even know if he is in Mr. Moon’s math class. He just hopes Jeno won’t notice or just brush it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Jeno does not prod more and told him the new guy’s name is Zhong Chenle, and he is usually in the music wing of their school. “I don’t know if it helps but it looks like he’s friends already with Donghyuck and Mark.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung set out on his way to the music wing. On his way, he tries to figure out this Zhong Chenle. So he is a music person, then? And being friends with Donghyuck and Mark is a whole other thing. Their clique is known to be composed of people who are the best artists. Not that they audition for that or something, they just tend to gravitate towards each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jisung arrived at the music wing, it was awkwardly silent. He is used to coming there only during classes so it was inevitably noisy. It is the first time Jisung went there outside of classes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Jisung just walked aimlessly. If he’s not here right now, he will be here later. That’s what he was thinking when he sat down in one of the empty chairs. Seungmin’s notes are worth the wait. He’s sure of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost jumped out of his seat when he heard piano notes suddenly. Truthfully, he almost ran out of the wing. It can be a scene straight out of a horror movie if you look at it in a different way. But no, it’s a beautiful tune. Somehow, he picked up the courage to walk towards the source of music.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In one of the rooms with a grand piano in the center, he saw a boy with purple hair playing it. He seems to not notice Jisung entering the room, and for that Jisung is thankful. It would be a waste if the purple haired boy stopped playing the beautiful tune at his expense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angelic. That was the first word which popped from Jisung’s mind when he saw the scene. That boy, the palest teenager he ever saw took his breath away. He does not know why though. Maybe it was his beautiful playing, or the way his purple hair waved with the wind from the fan, or the way his face looked serene- like the piano was his home. Maybe it was just... him in his entirety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And of course, Jisung did the most stupid thing: he gasped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music halted and the boy's head turned to his direction. Jisung should’ve been nervous because he was caught, but his heart just dropped. There he saw the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. He could stare at it for days and would never get bored of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung knew he was screwed when that boy smiled at him with the most stunning smile. Who is this boy and why did he only see him now?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Zhong Chenle!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle was too enthusiastic in that greeting. That, he himself admits. He chose to ignore the fact that the boy just heard him play the piano just now, which is actually messed up because he swore to himself not to let anyone know he can play the piano while he is in Korea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just wants to discover himself and be known as Chenle, without the child prodigy pianist label. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Although, I would like it if perhaps you don’t tell anyone about this. I play piano only as a hobby so I’m not that confident with my skills.” Chenle added as a precaution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was silent for a while and Chenle was almost sure he said something wrong. “No! I mean, you were totally great. It was the best I have ever heard in my life.” Jisung laughed at himself. What even is he saying? He does not even listen to piano in his spare time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you liked it!” Chenle exclaimed. That was when he first properly saw him. The boy was tall, and shy. His hands were brushing the back of his neck, looking totally awkward. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cute, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chenle thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He surely can see being friends with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi I’m Zhong Chenle. I’m new here so let’s be friends!”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Let’s be friends.” Jisung wasn’t sure if he would like to be only friends with him, but he still takes it. “I’m Park Jisung. Nice to meet you!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The information that he was Zhong Chenle belatedly hits Jisung. Zhong Chenle, the new student? The one Jaemin is jealous of? </span>
  <em>
    <span>You have to be kidding me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> If Jaemin is right that Jeno likes the new student… </span>
  <em>
    <span>not on my watch. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He mentally takes note to thank Jaemin for letting him meet the most precious person ever. Scratch that. He wouldn’t let him be teased for having a crush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what are you doing here? Everyone’s either in the library or classrooms during study hall. It’s the first time I saw someone here during this time.” Chenle said. Jisung, as smart as he can be, just blanked out. He can’t just say that his friend told him to befriend Chenle because he is jealous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can speak Korean.” the only thing that came out from his mouth. Smooth, Jisung. Very very smooth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle was confused, his smile faltering a bit. “Yeah I can. Should’ve I not?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were from China.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Yes, yes. I’m from Shanghai, but one of my fathers is a Korean. My fathers are originally from Korea, actually, so we use both Korean and Mandarin at home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle went on telling the story of how his fathers met, broke up, met again and finally ended up together. It was indeed an interesting story, but Jisung was more interested in the boy in front of him. He takes note of how Chenle’s eyes shine while talking about his family, how adorable his eyes turn to little lines when he laughs, how high pitched his giggles were and how the cheerfulness in his voice seems to uplift others’ souls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is a little sun, radiating the empty room with so much cheerfulness and warmth. Damn. Jisung wants to protect him at all costs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, are you still listening?” Chenle snapped his fingers in front of Jisung’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. Doyoung and Kun, huh. They sound like cool parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because they really are! You should meet them one day. Maybe I should invite you to my house soon. We can play games there!.” Chenle says, and Jisung’s heartbeat skyrocketed. Chenle should slow down a bit. He doesn’t know if he’s just purely an introvert or shy but Jisung can’t handle how in the first ten minutes he met his crush, there’s already mentions of visiting his house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” Jisung just awkwardly replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough of me. Tell me about yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That day, they spent the whole afternoon together in that room getting to know each other. Jisung told him that he is one of the top students of the batch and other than studying, he really does not have any hobbies. In return, Chenle told him that he likes playing basketball and video games, and those were the things he does to waste time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not a complete lie though. Those really were Chenle’s hobbies, but he picked it up only after the incident.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next days were different for Jisung. Normally, he would just spend his days either at the classroom or library, doing his revisions. Meeting Chenle changed all of that. That boy with a persona of a sun is the friendliest boy ever. Once he sees Jisung anywhere, he will instantly go and talk to him- and Jisung would just let him. So what if his revision schedule gets messed up? It’s Zhong Chenle!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They can now easily pass off as best friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just play one game! You can’t be that bad.” Chenle exclaims in one of his attempts to make Jisung play a game of PUBG with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Jisung is not bad with the game. He is just plain ignorant with it- and there’s no way will he let Chenle see his stupidity. “Next time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But! Why not now?!” Chenle complains with a whiny voice and pouty mouth. He just wants one game because he’s really bored right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung almost gave in, when he saw Jaemin from the side of his eyes. Nice timing. “Sorry, I remembered Jaemin asked me to meet him for something.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle almost accused him of lying, but he was too late because Jisung walked away so fast he was almost offended. Shrugging, he just set out to the music wing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung, on the other hand, had a bit of a hard time catching up with Jaemin because the boy is walking too fast. It confused him a lot. Jaemin liked moving slow, why the hell is he walking fast now? “Jaemin!” he called out, tired of trying to catch up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately, Jaemin heard it in an instant and turned back to see Jisung’s unathletic self out of breath. “Hey! I just skipped lunch breaks with you for a few days with you and you already miss me? You’re so cute, Jisung” he said in his baby voice reserved for Jisung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The taller boy rolled his eyes. “Seungmin-hyung’s notes, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin raised his left eyebrow and smirked, “You act like you were forced to be friends with Chenle. Don’t think I did not see you and him being the bestest of friends everywhere. Are you now replacing Renjun and me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Jisung did feel guilty that he’s getting something from his friendship from Chenle but he just shrugs it off. The notes are too important for that. “You were the one busy! What are you even doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finally noticed his friend’s stressed face and dark circles under his eye. “It’s just the annual school concert. Organizing it is too much work! The only thing I like about that is I keep seeing Jeno these days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you not curious about Jeno liking Chenle? That was your intention.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should ask me if I’m not curious about you having a crush on the boy.” Jaemin told him with that mischievous glint in his eyes that annoyed Jisung a lot. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course he’s that transparent to Jaemin.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I would tease you more but I need to get going. Seungmin-hyung’s notes are in my locker. You know the code so just get it yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks!” Jisung told him. Jaemin just waved his hand and walked away.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>So this was the reason Jisung felt uncomfortable about the days going so smoothly, he thought bitterly while staring at his A- after two weeks of meeting Chenle. It was the first time he didn’t have the top marks. He started to scold and feel bad about himself. He shouldn’t have been too carefree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to remember all of the things he did for the past weeks and every time something he wasn’t satisfied with comes into mind, it would be another surge of heaviness in his heart. At one point, all he was able to think was </span>
  <em>
    <span>I should’ve done better, I should’ve spent more time studying, shouldn't have had dinner that day, shouldn’t have slept, shouldn’t have said yes to Chenle.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But Chenle wasn’t at fault and he knows that. In the end, he blamed himself- for being not smart enough or being not responsible enough or maybe being both of those. Upset with himself, he told himself: no. He ordered himself to be stricter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like someone knows that he is currently fighting with himself, he heard his phone beeped, signalling a text message. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It read </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Ddeokbokki after school?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> from Chenle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He long pressed the power button and turned it off. And just like that, he shut the world and his friends out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle found it strange. He texted Jisung half an hour ago and the boy still did not reply yet. Usually, it only took him a maximum of ten minutes especially when it’s study hall time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet he’s just busy. Come on, that boy is the top of the batch. He’s probably just studying.” Donhyuck mindlessly said while pressing on random keys on the piano. “Okay, I know you guys don't know a thing about piano but do you think the one I played a while ago is okay for the school concert?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve seen the guy a few times. He really does look like that.” Mark, looking up from his composition book, supplied. To the other question, he replies, “It would be fantastic, Hyuck!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like what?” Chenle asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like he doesn’t have a life.” Chenle’s eyebrows furrowed. They’re wrong, though? He has been hanging out with Jisung for weeks but he barely saw him with his books.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No he doesn’t-” Chenle was about to defend Jisung when the thought came. Mark and Hyuck who saw him for years know Jisung is a studious person but he, who just came in recently, doesn’t know that he was. Logically, it could only mean one thing. “I was distracting him during these days!” The two other boys looked at him in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you probably weren’t-” Mark was interrupted in the middle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he angry at you for bothering him? Oh my god, the teachers just released our midterm exams results. It totally coincides!” Donghyuck dramatically adds. Chenle didn’t know that. Heck, he didn’t even know that they just recently took the test. He was exempted because he just transferred, but still nobody told him. He feels bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck, shut up.” Mark said, noticing that Chenle was quiet. Donghyuck looked at his friend and moved so fast to hug him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Lele. I’m just joking, please don’t be sad! What about we’ll go with you for ddeokbokki after school instead? So what if Jisung doesn’t reply, you still have us!” Donghyuck tells him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suddenly want hotpot.” Chenle tells them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you want, Lele.” Mark says. Chenle smiles. He feels very thankful he met them, really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make it spicy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle didn’t bother Jisung for the next few days, afraid that he’s going to disturb him more. He also noticed that Jisung, too, didn’t make a move to reach out to him. But Chenle did not take it to heart. Instead, he just viewed it in his perspective. He knows how important practice time is, and if he suddenly realized that he was spending a lot of time not practicing, there would be a possibility that he’ll lock himself in the piano room to make up for the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still was sulky though. It irritated him that Jisung just suddenly stopped communicating with him at once. There’s not even a single text on what happened! He thought they were close enough for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So that one time he suddenly saw the said friend at the hallway walking briskly with his books in his arms, his instincts told him to be petty and ignore him too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle sits down at Mark and Donghyuck’s table at lunch. He slammed his palms on the table and looked straight at his friends asking, “What does it mean when your newest closest friend suddenly does not care about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not possible for you because your newest closest friends are currently talking to you right now.” Donghyuck deadpans while eating his fries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he’s talking about Jisung, Hyuck.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I refuse to believe.” Hyuck tells Mark, exaggeratedly opening his eyes widely and faking a gasp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle can’t believe that they really are talking about the not important things right in front of him. “Hello? I just asked something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you’re here, Lele?” Hyuck tells him in an annoying manner which Chenle believes he’s a master at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s still not talking to you? It’s been like what, two days now, right?” Mark asks Chenle, trying to get the facts right.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s just been two days now? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chenle swears it felt like a week. In all honesty, he missed messing with Jisung especially when nobody among Mark, Donghyuck and Jeno is available because they’re busy preparing for the school concert. Often, Chenle finds himself alone in the music wing- and he hates being alone in the music wing with the grand piano on his eyesight. It made him think of his last days in China where he stuck himself in the piano room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung used to be his escape from falling back to that dark abyss, yet he is not with him now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t even send a text! Then just now, we just passed by each other in the hallway and he did not spare me a single glance!” he complained to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark and Hyuck tried to be serious, really, but they can’t help to find their friend cute. Chenle is usually cheerful and bubbly at normal times but now? He just looks exactly like a grade-schooler who talks about his crush. They have suspicions that Chenle likes Jisung, but that’s not what’s important right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe he’s just busy?” Donghyuck supplies, trying to be supportive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Busy?” Chenle mocks in a higher pitch. “Texting does not even take one minute!” He said in a whiny voice. Jisung had been his new closest friend aside from Donghyuck and Mark, and he thought it was reciprocated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah that was bad of him! How could he leave Lele hanging like that? You can’t do it like that.” Mark said and offered Chenle after, “Fries?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle looked at his friend unbelievably. Shrugging, he accepted his offer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning after, Chenle woke up with a newfound determination. The day will not end without Jisung and him talking face to face. He will make sure of it, whatever it takes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although, he did not expect him to be this difficult.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, he just thought that it would be easy because Jisung does not go anywhere but the classroom and the library. He was definitely wrong. There was no certain tall, brown haired boy in either of the places. No sign of his friend having been there at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, he is so sure that Jisung was avoiding him. With that assumption, his drive to look for his friend became stronger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In between classes, he would linger around the hallways longer than he usually does. During breaks, he would step inside the cafeteria and scan the place with those sharp eyes you can easily see in him when he plays shooting games. He walked out unsuccessful in the end, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Racking his brain for every possible place he could be, Chenle started to get irritated. How could the school be big enough to not find a certain person? He almost wants to blame his parents for choosing this school out of frustration. They could’ve picked a regular high school, but they had to pick the one which seemed too high class. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Chenle!” he heard someone greeted. He dejectedly looked at the source of the voice, sighting Jeno with his usual eye smile. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He would be excellent in customer service</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he randomly thought. It was just the frustration coming out. “Um, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine.” Chenle mumbled, turning his dejected look to his usual bright smiley face. It gets easier for him to wear that fake bright smile, he just chuckled inward to the realization. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just council matters.” Jeno replied. “I should’ve been asking that question to you. The council’s room is just there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. The council room”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right. The council room</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes widened at the realization. Jisung is friends with Jaemin. Then logically, he should have a hint on where the boy is. And if he remembers correctly, they seem to be really close. If Jaemin checking out for Jisung through text when the president is busy is not good enough proof of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeno,” Chenle started “Is Jaemin there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The student council representative’s left eyebrow shot up. “No, why are you looking for him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… nothing much.” Chenle says, leaving Jeno still staring inquisitively “Just curious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right then, it’s as if Jeno realized something. “Are you looking for Jisung? I saw that you’re close friends with him now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle blushes, feeling embarrassed for no reason. “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are.” Jeno insists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Chenle says in resignation. He notices Jeno having a mischievous glint in his eyes. “What? I can’t look for a friend when they go missing?” he asks, obviously leaving an emphasis on the word ‘friend’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno smiles meaningfully. “No not at all. But, I have to disappoint you. Jaemin is out to talk to a sponsor about the school concert. He dragged Jisung with him, something about the kid needing some air.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the sponsor?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone from Neo 127 Productions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the intel!” Chenle says, suddenly going up from his seat fast. It took no time for Jeno to make sense of his actions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t go out of the campus during school hours!” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Unless you’re sick.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle knows. Good thing he mastered that act of faking sick since he was young to get out of longer hours of piano practice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon! I’m Chenle, a student from SM High School. My friends have a meeting here right now and they asked me to bring some papers they forgot to bring.” Chenle perfectly explained to the attendant, flashing his school identification card and an empty folder he fished out somewhere from his bag. Fortunately, the girl bought it and told him the directions where the meeting room was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did not dare go inside the room and just waited in front. Instead, he looked around the area. The area has an orange and black interior, with vinyl records on the wall indicating that the company is into music production. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was drawn to the gallery of trophies and photos, showcasing the history of the company. It’s not much, just enough to obviously show that the company is approximately twenty years. Nonetheless, they have achieved a lot for a short amount of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although, Chenle was particularly interested in a certain picture frame. There were a lot of men, but two bodies are too familiar. He thought of his parents, Doyoung and Kun. The two bodies have postures that they always resemble. Eventually, he just thought of it as interesting. The picture was old and the camera was too far away from the faces to be recognizable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zhong Chenle?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle turned to look at who called him. Puzzled, he looked at the petite figure who welcomed him with a big smile. Although, he only grew more puzzled because he does not remember the face who greeted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh… hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really you! You’ve really grown a lot since I last saw you. Well, I mean, that’s saying a lot because I last saw you when you were this big. Aw, I remember you were much cuter back then.” the man said, gesturing a height around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle only smiled, not knowing what to say. Who is this guy? Should he address him as samchon or ahjussi? Does he even know him really?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sensing his confusion, the man laughed, “Well, it’s disappointing of your fathers to not mention me for all these years. You can call me Ten samchon, I guess. I last saw you when you were like five and was visiting here with Kun back then so you don’t remember me. I see you all the time on Kun's weibo though so I still know what you look like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you, Ten samchon. I would never guess that I’ll be meeting a friend of my fathers here.” Chenle remembers the picture he was looking at and pointed at it, “Wait, so is it really them in this picture?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that picture.” Ten laughed like he remembered something. “Did you know your fathers were Kpop idols back then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are. In fact, that’s how they first met. We were all in one group. Oh, I can go on all day about how embarrassing they were.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nodded. Chenle was very surprised. He recalled the story of his parents, and realized that every detail they told him was vague. His fathers did tell him they met when they were assigned to the same team, but they failed to mention that the team was something as big as being a Kpop group. He loved his parents’ story so much so he felt a bit cheated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I never considered that fact because they seem like a big fan of classical music. It’s always classic songs that are playing in the house And seeing how they are very business minded most days, it seems like they only know business and nothing else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god no, Kun still does composing for us every now and then actually, and Doyoung is always the demo track’s vocals.” Chenle got wide-eyed with the information. He felt kind of betrayed by his parents for not telling him this kind of information. “Oh, what were you doing here by the way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed at himself inside, he almost forgot the reason why he was here in the first place. “My friends are having a meeting here. And I… uh… here to bring this to them.” he said, gesturing at the empty folder with him. “Yeah. They forgot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But why are you here outside?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m shy?” he blurted unsurely. “I mean, they’re already holding a meeting. It’s embarrassing to just walk in right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be. It’s just Johnny they’re meeting inside there.” Chenle asked with his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Johnny who?</span>
  </em>
  <span> “My husband, and another ex-groupmate of your fathers. So basically another samchon of yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle never knew he had this many </span>
  <em>
    <span>samchondeul</span>
  </em>
  <span> before. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe if my dads stayed in Korea, it would’ve been fun</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come, let’s go in.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wants to stop Ten from barging in (and dragging Chenle with him) but everything happened too fast. He just thought that it would be embarrassing when Jaemin and Jisung saw him. He better make up something fast. He can’t just be ‘Hi, I’m here to stop Jisung from avoiding me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both stopped at their tracks when a scary voice resounded around the room. “You want us to raise the money for such vague reasons? I thought you were better than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s Johnny.” Ten whispered to Chenle. Remember when he thought it would be fun living with so many uncles? Scratch that. That would be terrifying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be spent on sound equipment, Mr. Seo.” Jaemin answered in a small voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you did not think of borrowing directly from us, and for a price lower than what you propose? If you researched enough, you would know that we are directly involved in the equipment during concerts of SM group.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten rolled his eyes and knocked on the wall to let them know that someone stepped in. Because apparently, the discussion seemed too serious to notice the door being opened. “Chill, Johnny. They’re still learning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny, Jaemin, and Jisung all turned to the source of the voice. Johnny immediately softened when he saw his husband, interlocking their hands when Ten is of reach. Jaemin and Jisung, however, are more interested in the figure beside Ten. Chenle just smiled and gave a small wave. Chenle ignored Jaemin’s inquisitive stare and looked straight at Jisung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung knew at that moment that there’s no escaping from the Zhong Chenle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here? And who’s with you?” Johnny asked with a soft voice that was totally different from the stern tone he used a while ago. There’s no denying that they’re so in love with each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m actually here to free those boys from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just giving them a lesson that would benefit them in their future professional career.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no. You’re too much.” Ten said, and the three teenagers felt out of place when the two adults kissed each other. “Anyways, give them some slack. They’re Chenle’s friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chenle? Zhong Chenle? Kun and Doyoung’s child?” Johnny asked excitedly while looking at Chenle. The latter would be excited too if not for the next question that the older asked, “Prodigy pianist?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Ten could answer about all of his nephew’s achievements, Chenle beat him to it. “Yes, samchon. I’m Zhong Chenle, Kun and Doyoung’s child. But saying that I’m a prodigy pianist is too much. Don’t believe my parents, they like to exaggerate. You know how it is with asian parents. Really, I just play piano as a hobby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Kun-” Chenle looked at Ten, giving him </span>
  <em>
    <span>the</span>
  </em>
  <span> eye. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please, Ten. Don’t snitch on me, please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  “-mentioned you liked piano so much no prodigy could ever compare. Maybe that’s why Johnny got it wrong. Right, Johnny?” Ten flashed his smile to Johnny, which would be something plain pretty if you did not look close enough- but his husband got the hint behind the smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle sighed in relief, looking at his two friends. Fortunately, they did not seem suspicious. Their eyes were going back and forth from Chenle to the adults and trying to connect whatever the relationship is between them. But inside his mind, Jaemin is cheering because somehow he was saved from the terror that is Johnny Suh. Jisung’s mind, on the other hand, was confusedly blanked out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chenle is here. Fuck. What do I tell him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Johnny samchon…” Chenle started, “Thank you for helping us out in advance.” He let out the bright smile he knew his parents and every adult around him was whipped for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Needless to say, the meeting went smoothly after.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for helping us out back there, Chenle. I thought I was screwed as the president.” Jaemin said once the three of them stepped out of the building, with Jisung walking a step behind them</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem. Although you can thank me by doing something.” Chenle said. The two of them exchanged looks with each other. Jaemin laughed and nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jisung, come with Chenle for me, okay? He helped me a lot this time. I need to urgently go back to school, so bye!” Jaemin said speedily, running away after giving a small wave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey there, stranger.” Chenle said first once they have settled  in a random cafe they found. Chenle eyed Jisung who only focused his gaze on his chocolate drink. “Is their milkshake that interesting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Jisung quietly started. “Shutting out myself from everyone and everything with no prior notice was a bad decision. I’m sorry that I left you hanging.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I would like to say that you don’t have to say sorry, but I really don’t want to. I understand that shutting yourself out from the world is your coping mechanism, but it did make me upset.” Chenle pointed out. “What was the reason though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung took a sip from his drink. His anxiety spiked up, because he knows that most people would see his reason as an excuse and would probably laugh. Jisung believes that the reason was so petty, and he felt pathetic for doing all of the shutting out because of one reason. “My grades had a drastic drop for the first time. I figured I was distracted so I had to double my efforts in studying to make up for all of my low days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it seems Chenle is not like most people. He smiled, not in a mocking manner but more like of an it’s okay. “Distracted because I kept hanging around you, right? You should’ve told me, Jisung. We could’ve gone to the library during breaks instead, with you studying and me playing beside you.” Chenle asked. “Still, I’m sorry for not noticing immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault at all! It was my own choice to laze around. I could have managed my time better, but I didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were quiet for a while. Chenle looks at Jisung, and he felt like he needed to say something more. Chenle does not really feel upset that much because he can totally understand his friend, but it looks like Jisung is beating up himself more than what is enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before surfing, the instructor would teach you how to fall.” Chenle suddenly blurted, and Jisung finally looked at him. “Because failing is inevitable, Jisung-ah.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chenle laughed at himself inside.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He is such a hypocrite. How can he tell Jisung these kinds of stuff when he himself is running away from being a great disappointment?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not all about failing then, isn’t it?” Jisung turned silent. He’s suddenly aware of Chenle’s gaze, and he felt naked. “It also couldn’t be about the scholarship. Your family is not in the brink of poverty, your future does not depend on that scholarship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is though,“ Jisung said silently. “My life depends on that scholarship. Being granted the scholarship means that I have the top marks- and having the top marks is my life. You probably won’t understand but it is what defined me ever since my childhood. It tells me that I have something to prove- that somehow I’m not just a useless thing in this universe. I use that knowledge to feel alive. Others have their dreams to keep them going… but I don’t have that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence engulfed them yet again.. Chenle was trying to make sense of the information, and Jisung was overcome by embarrassment. It was the first time he voiced out his feelings so he does not know how Chenle will react.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s find your dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No. That would take too much effort. I’d rather study.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Jisung. You’re studying your ass off without future goals. That’s a big problem. You’re probably the type that would pursue medicine because it is what’s expected of an intelligent asian. But I’m telling you right now that it won’t work in the long run.” Chenle pointed out. “Let’s find yourself, Park Jisung.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung smiled. He is grateful that a Zhong Chenle came into his life. Truthfully, what Chenle said was not foreign to his mind because he knows all along that whatever he is doing in his life right now is not a good approach. But he is just another scared teenager. He chose to ignore the voices in his head because damn, what is he going to do about it anyway?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help me find myself, Zhong Chenle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared at one another for a moment. Letting the comforting noise of the cafe take over their relieved minds. They are okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Again, I’m sorry for shutting you out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’ll do that again, I’m going to burn your books.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When you said you’ll help me, I didn’t think it would be like this.” Jisung said, looking around the empty dance practice room the two of them randomly stumbled upon in their school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you we will find your dream. What’s more effective in doing that than letting you experience the world?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not a child, I have lived the world as long as you did. We are not that different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Firstly, he did not expect that Chenle’s help would come as fast as the day after. The boy suddenly came out of nowhere and asked if Jisung had an upcoming exam. Once he confirmed there wasn’t, he dragged the taller boy with no further ado.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t compare me to you. I have lived the world, but you only breathed in it. Trust me.” Chenle said, moving to the control system. He tinkered the equipment a bit and an upbeat song filled the once still room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle started to move up and down and shrugged his shoulders to the beat of the music. On the corner, Jisung was fascinated. It was the first time he saw Chenle dance. Although, he thinks that it might be more appropriate to laugh because the dancing boy has now certainly lost his mind to the music and is currently pulling out funny dance moves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jisung! Stop being shy and dance!” his friend shouted over the music.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I look like someone who knows how to dance to you? Just feel the music and move your body, come on!” Chenle dragged him out of his corner by grabbing him by his hands.</span>
</p><p><span>Jisung’s mind short circuited and can only stare at their hands with a blank mind. He thought, </span><em><span>He only treats you as his friend, Jisung. Don’t give meaning to it.</span></em> <em><span>Don’t think. Don’t think.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>“Hey wake up!” Chenle snapped his fingers in front of his face which effectively woke Jisung from his trance. “Follow me. Move your arms. Shrug with the beat. Move to the rhythm. Easy, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung, who decided that he wouldn’t want Chenle’s efforts to turn into vain, forced his body to move. But he did not know what to do. First, he tried to copy his friend’s moves, but he found Chenle’s dance moves too lively for him with the rapid steps and body movements. Then, he tried to follow Chenle’s initial advice to feel the music and let it be the one to move him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is too awkward. He tried to raise his arms like what he sees in the party rave scenes in the movies he used to watch, but his arms wave too unsure of what they’re doing. Chenle finally noticed the boy beside him struggling and laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yah! Don’t laugh!” Jisung said, embarrassed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle gestured to keep going with his hands while he tried his hardest not to laugh. Jisung made it hard for him though. It was obvious that the boy had never done anything this physically tiring with his body. He even looks like he's having the hardest time when he is just raising his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung suspected that Chenle was mocking him already so he stopped moving his body. True to his suspicions, Chenle stopped trying to stifle his laughs and is currently laughing so hard. Jisung would’ve been captivated by the boy’s angelic laugh, if only it weren’t directed to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not doing this anymore.” Jisung whined while grudgingly staring at his friend. Chenle laughed some more before gradually stopping. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you shouldn’t. That was too ugly and ridiculous.” Chenle agreed. Jisung was ready to argue, but Chenle said before he can talk, “You really do not have a sense of rhythm, and no amount of practice can remedy your awkwardness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is why I don’t dance.” Jisung pouted and Chenle laughed again.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The duo fell into a routine for the next two weeks. Chenle would firstly ask for Jisung’s student responsibilities, mainly just his exam schedule, before deciding what they’ll do during their free time. In the case that an exam is scheduled, Chenle would either join Jisung in the library or hang out with Donghyuck and Mark when he is not in the mood to laze around the library. </p><p>They are basically attached to the hip these days.</p><p>“I know what we are going to do today.” Jisung said first thing once he stepped inside the empty classroom Chenle found while trying to skip his art class. Chenle who was munching on a burger, raised his right eyebrow in question. “Jaemin threw these tickets to a classical music thingy concert in the Seoul Arts Center for tonight. It says Cho Seong Jin in this pamphlet but I don’t really know who he is.”</p><p>Chenle almost choked in his burger. He certainly knew who Cho Seong Jin was. He is a classical pianist who won the 17th International Chopin Piano Competition, of course he knows the man. He admittedly streamed the performance more than once and yes, he would drop anything to watch his performance live. But the thing is, he is not confident that he can watch a proper piano performance after what happened a month ago without it haunting him again.</p><p>Chenle eyed Jisung. “You don’t even know a thing about classical music.” he said in an attempt to make Jisung rethink his decisions. “It could be boring for most people, you know.” </p><p>“It was your idea to make me experience everything in the world.” Jisung pointed out. He chose not to tell his main reason for accepting Jaemin’s tickets: when Jaemin blurted out the idea of giving him the tickets, the first thing that came into his mind was how Chenle and him met each other. He remembered the first and last time he saw Chenle play the piano, and how completely captivated by the classical piece the boy was. Any person can see how Chenle is passionate about his music.</p><p>Chenle’s mind is in chaos. One side of him wants to be responsible and take the duty of helping Jisung find his dream because it really was his idea, but another side of him is afraid of breaking down again. He was getting better in ignoring his emotional trauma since he came to Korea, but he knows that it only takes one event to take down the wall he built.</p><p>“I have math homework due tomorrow. I don’t really understand the topic so it will probably take hours for me to finish that.” Chenle told him as a lame excuse and pulled all the acting skills he gained from lying to his parents. Jisung stared at him quizzically so he added in a haste, “That’s very regretful though. The concert seems grand.”</p><p>Chenle expected the boy to give up immediately. After all, he treats academic responsibilities very seriously. That is the Jisung that he knows. So when his friend told him, “That calculus part? It’s okay. I’m finished with that already. You can copy mine.” he didn’t know what to feel.</p><p>He was partly surprised that there really was math homework that’s due tomorrow. He only bluffed that one because he actually does not care about his academics. He also felt dubious because why the hell is Jisung offering his work? He used to be adamant that Chenle should understand their lessons each time Chenle felt lazy and tried to just ask Jisung for the answers. Above all, he felt panicked because <em> damn </em>he can’t think of any more reason without looking suspicious.</p><p> </p><p>So when Chenle stood at the lobby of the Seoul Arts Center after doing a quick detour to his house to change his outfit into an appropriate one, he was on edge and a tick away on running out of the hall. It also didn’t help that Chenle arrived earlier than Jisung because his house is nearer to the venue, giving more time for Chenle to think.</p><p>The scene in front of him was a familiar one. He remembers all the times his family attended a concert because he insisted and annoyed his fathers. He misses that, way more than he would acknowledge. <em> Would I ever experience that again </em>? He asks himself, his thoughts on the instances when his fathers excitedly told him about upcoming piano concerts since they came to Korea and how he coldly rejected it immediately.</p><p>But one thing played a significant role in making it more unique than any other similar scenes though: the tall, slim figure of Park Jisung making his way to him looking handsomely different with his black suit.</p><p>Now Chenle knows that he is alive. Too alive. His heart is beating… fast. It took a couple of blinks before he calmed down enough to function.</p><p>“Please tell me I did not overdress.” Jisung shyly said when he reached Chenle. “This is the first time I’m going to this kind of concert and the movies I watched always portray this as something classy.” Chenle almost hoped that he dressed up specially for him, but found himself ridiculous.</p><p>Instead, he smiled brightly like a good friend that he is. “Don’t worry, I think if someone gets these rich people’s attention tonight it would be my bright purple hair.”</p><p>They both laughed in approval.</p><p>Half an hour later, the duo was sitting in the big hall. Jisung’s head eyes kept wandering, amazed by the classic beauty of the hall. Chenle, on the other had, was feeling every emotion he could ever feel. He was happy because he’s finally back to his homeground, sad because the bad memory plays in the back of his mind, and anxious because he feels like he doesn’t deserve being in this place and happily appreciating the music.</p><p>Every part of the hall makes him remember the forsaken night, and he hates it. Chenle felt colder, like darkness came and embraced him tight. His sight loses focus on the piano that centered on the stage, his tears threatening to fall. Not wanting for his emotions to be discovered, he closed his eyes tight and told himself, <em> ‘it’s okay, the night has passed’. </em></p><p>Jisung turned to Chenle and discovered him taking deep breaths with closed eyes. Something felt wrong. Not knowing what to do, Jisung clasped his hands with Chenle’s. <em> It’s okay. You’re not alone. </em></p><p>Chenle faintly noticed the weight on his left hand. It worked like magic. He remembered that he was back there in the theatre hall waiting for the renowned pianist to come take his position and not on that day. He gained energy from Jisung’s presence. When he opened his eyes, he was thankful that Jisung wasn’t looking at him.</p><p>That night, the duo enjoyed the classical pieces with their hands clasped together.</p><p>It would’ve been perfect, if not for Jisung falling asleep in the middle of the concert. </p><p> </p><p>When Chenle came home that night, he went straight to his parents who he found watching a television show. His parents, seeing that their son’s mood is different than that of a regular day’s, hugged him in silence. They stayed like that for a bit, just basking on the comfort brought by their family.</p><p>Kun managed to break the silence first and asked, “How was today, honey?”</p><p>Chenle replied in a silent voice, “I heard the most wonderful Four Ballades today by Cho Seong Jin.”</p><p>His parents silently looked at each other in surprise, both asking the same question in their minds. Did their son go to a concert? They have actually been trying for weeks to make Chenle come to a concert or even a recital for him to gradually ease in those kinds of settings. “In a concert?” Doyoung clarified.</p><p>Chenle made a sound in affirmation that vaguely resembled a ‘hmm’. He looked them in the eyes and asked knowing that this could bring his parents to a flurry of emotions, “Can you bring the piano back to my room?”</p><p>Kun and Doyoung felt like crying. <em> Finally, </em>they thought, finally Chenle is going to be really okay. They suppressed their tears, afraid that their son will be weirded out by their behavior. Kun nodded first, assuring Chenle that everything will be fine.</p><p>Doyoung remembered the time they first moved back to Korea. The first thing Chenle requested was for them to bring out the piano that was sitting in his room. For Chenle, the instrument would only bring back bad memories of that night. And he hated it. He hated the feeling of loathing the instrument who had always brought him happiness. He hated that he had to feel so much embarrassment for something others would just laugh off. He hated everything because he felt he had no reason to feel that way.</p><p>The next day, he surprised his parents by coming home with purple colored hair. When he was first sighted by his parents, Kun almost brought out the broomstick because he was ruining his hair. Thankfully, Doyoung stopped him and told him to let it be. It was a new beginning, he said. </p><p>But for Chenle, he did that because it signified an end.</p><p>What really is a new beginning was tonight. And for that, Chenle tried to hide his smile. <em> Thank you for allowing me to take my time. </em> </p><p> </p><p>That weekend, Chenle and Jisung agreed to meet in a park nearby Jisung’s house. It was a fine day and Chenle is positive that this day is going to be great. Jisung, though, begs to differ.</p><p>“So can you tell me why are we meeting in this neighborhood that is known for the arsy murals here?” he eyed his friend, “Are you really telling me that I could be an artist?”</p><p>Chenle shrugged and said, “You don’t know until you have tried it.”</p><p>“You don’t think my childish artworks in art class speak enough of my creativity?” Jisung asked sarcastically with a smile.</p><p>His friend stopped for a moment after pondering what he said. “You have a point.” he said. They stopped walking, and Chenle faced him pouting. “That ruins my plans though, now I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Chenle smiles sheepishly. Jisung thinks that on normal occasions and with regular people, he would be pissed but he is with Chenle. For him, Chenle is not a regular person. Jisung can only chuckle at him. He thinks it’s cute.</p><p>He cannot resist, Jisung ruffled Chenle’s hair unintentionally. Chenle is surprised. The next thing they knew, their heads turned away from each other trying to hide their cheeks tinted with pink. </p><p><em> Why did he do that? And why the hell am I shying away? </em>, Chenle asked in his mind.</p><p><em> You’re crazy, Park Jisung. You’re crazy! </em>, Jisung scolded himself.</p><p>Between the both of them, Chenle recollected himself faster. He ignored what happened and smiled at his friend. “You said that your creativity is spoken through your artworks?” he asked.</p><p>Jisung looked at him questioningly. What is he thinking now?</p><p>“Well, Jisung. The thing is, creativity does not only mean that it can be expressed through artworks. Follow me!” Chenle said, getting excited with the idea that is forming in his mind. Without any question, Jisung followed him but his mind wandered to what happened just a while ago.</p><p>Chenle does not seem bothered. <em> Is it just nothing to him? </em></p><p> </p><p>Speechless, Jisung faced Chenle. “Really, Dongdaemun? The fashion district?”</p><p>“Look at yourself, Jisung. You’re tall. With that you could have been a sports player but of course we both know you can’t move your body properly. So who else is tall? A model!” Chenle told him, dragging him to the one of the stores that screamed ‘fashion!’</p><p>Jisung scoffed at the idea but he allowed Chenle to take control.</p><p>Stores are always daunting for Jisung who only liked to stay in his home. What he hated the most are the salespersons who would always follow him and ask for what he wanted. He just wanted peace.</p><p>But Chenle is different from him. Chenle liked talking. When the saleslady went to them, he answered the questions smoothly. Chenle turned to him and said, “As a model, you should have a decent sense of fashion. Pick an outfit in this shop and let’s judge your fashion sense.”</p><p>“What?” Jisung looked at him surprised and Chenle only laughed at him, going straight to the seat in the store. </p><p>Jisung stood awkwardly in the entrance of the store for a minute, not knowing what to do. He tried to ask Chenle for clues, but the boy is not even looking at him! He was making himself busy with his phone.</p><p>Jisung slowly walked around the store, browsing what they had. He honestly found it hard. There were plenty of colors and styles which were overwhelming for someone who loves his neutral colors scheme in his wardrobe and would stick with hoodie and pants.</p><p>Realizing that he was just wasting his time, he grabbed whatever he found pleasing and matched it up. Satisfied, he walked to his friend.</p><p>Chenle only stared at him blandly and asked, “Plain grey shirt and black pants?” </p><p>“It’s neat.” Jisung only shrugged.</p><p>Chenle nodded his head, which Jisung does not know what it meant. Does he approve of his style? Is he satisfied? Is Jisung really meant to be a model in his eyes? Jisung winced at the last thought.</p><p>“It’s okay, Jisung. Maybe there are models out there who only have the face and not the taste. Maybe you’re one of them.” said Chenle who was trying hard to sound positive.</p><p>“Yeah, there may be models like that.” Jisung said in consolation to Chenle.</p><p>“Yeah.” Chenle hummed in approval. He brought his phone upwards, found an angle and ordered Jisung, “So go, strike a pose.”</p><p>Jisung blinked twice and finally asked himself, <em> why do I like this boy again? </em>Nonetheless, he tried what Chenle wanted and put his right hand on the pocket. He looked straight at the lens, and tried to look charismatic like how he thinks models do.</p><p>“No, that’s not it. Put one foot in front of the other and straighten your shoulders.” Chenle instructed like how a good photographer would do.</p><p>Like a good student that he is, he did what Chenle instructed. But, Chenle is satisfied. Even the saleslady looked disappointed too. If Jisung can guess what she was thinking, it might be in the lines of ‘<em> What a waste of height and visuals </em>’.</p><p>Chenle shook his head and sighed. “Let’s just go eat.”</p><p>Feeling that Chenle is disappointed with the lack of progress, Jisung tried to make him smile by telling him some weird facts that he knew. Chenle only returned his effort with a forced chuckle.</p><p>On the way to the market, they chanced upon a crowd. Curiosity won over the two and they walked towards them. Chenle asked one of the observers, “What happened?”</p><p>“A woman suddenly fainted. No one knows why and it seems she’s alone.” the stranger said.</p><p>“How long since she fainted?” Jisung asked.</p><p>“I got here a minute ago. So probably longer than that.”</p><p>Both of them grew concerned. “That’s long enough. Did someone already call the ambulance?” Jisung asked, looking around the growing crowd and everyone’s apprehensive look to do anything.</p><p>“Yes, I think? I’m not sure.” the woman said.</p><p>Jisung grew irritated and cursed at everyone with their phones out and trying to take pictures and videos. <em> Of course, this is the kind of society we live in. </em>He stepped closer to the fainted woman and asked the person closest with a phone up, “Did you call 911?”</p><p>The person shook his head, scared by the glare Jisung is giving him. Jisung looked around, hoping for someone to nod to his question but no one did. He rolled his eyes, and appointed someone to call an ambulance. The person hurriedly did it.</p><p>Jisung searched for injuries and found nothing. He proceeded to position the woman on her back and raised her legs above heart level. He started counting for a minute.</p><p>He felt a figure beside him so he looked at his side. The man told him, “Doctor.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great job there, kid. Where did you learn that from?” the man told him as they looked at the paramedics taking care of the woman. </p><p>“School.” Jisung simply replied and said his thanks. The man nodded and exchanged bye’s with him.</p><p>Not too long after, Chenle came to him and without any words, started clapping. Jisung told him, “You look amazed.”</p><p>“Because I am! Where did you learn that from?”</p><p>“In class? Don’t you listen to your lessons?” Jisung told him. Chenle snorted at him, but did not address the accusation. But Chenle smiled at him so big that Jisung is both mesmerized and nervous. “What are you smiling for?”</p><p>“We found your dream!”</p><p>“I found my dream?”</p><p>“What is my dream?”</p><p>“To read books!” Chenle said cheerfully.</p><p>Jisung stared at him blankly. Huh, what a great dream. “Why is my dream to read books?”</p><p>“Silly, because you are going to be a doctor.” Chenle said and laughed at him. “Come on, I’m so hungry. You owe me an ice cream for finding you a dream.” said Chenle, and the two boys walked out of the now not crowded area.</p><p>For Jisung, the idea that his dream is to be a doctor made him laugh because it matched perfectly. For him, he only knew how to study and newly found his compassion to make people better. He felt silly for not realizing it sooner. He always thought that a dream should be something that was out of the ordinary- that a dream should be something that takes a good life story to reach it. Maybe something that his parents would not approve of? That kind of story.</p><p>He found it interesting that he remembered what Chenle said at the cafe, that <em> “You’re studying your ass off without future goals. That’s a big problem. You’re probably the type that would pursue medicine because it is what’s expected of an intelligent asian”. </em>Because now, he is really going to pursue medicine. But now, it’s neither because of what society expects him to do nor what his grades dictate for him.</p><p>Now, it’s because this is what he wanted and truly happy for.</p><p>“What’s your dream, Chenle?” Jisung asked him while they were eating their ice cream in the park that afternoon.</p><p>Chenle thought for a moment, and smiled. “To become the perfect pianist.”</p><p>For Jisung, the boy can’t be more perfect than he is right now. He did not want to tell him though so he replied, “I’m sure you’re going to be one.”</p><p>Chenle took a glance at him. He told Jisung, “I hope so.”, knowing that he had already failed. </p><p> </p><p>The days went smoothly after that. They fell into the same routine just like before the fiasco happened. It went too peacefully. They would hang out in the music room if it’s empty, the library if Jisung has to study, or they would hang out with their separate friend groups if their friends ask for them. Sometimes after school, they would play games just to satisfy Chenle’s gaming needs. </p><p>For Chenle especially, the days are getting better. He has been playing with the keyboard almost everyday, gradually regaining the comfort he had always felt with the piano pieces before the incident.</p><p>Soon, the school’s annual concert came. </p><p>That morning, the school was bustling with excitement. The students can hardly contain their anticipation with the big event, while the student council was everywhere trying to arrange everything for tonight.</p><p>“What’s the big deal with this concert?” Chenle asked Mark and Donghyuck. He was not with Jisung because Jaemin stole him as a desperate attempt to make his tasks lighter. The group was in an empty music room where Donghyuck was practicing his piece for tonight.</p><p>“What’s the big deal? You’re really asking about that?” Mark asked him incredulously. Chenle just raised his brow as a question. “It is ‘the’ big night!” he said, not giving much of an answer.</p><p>“What night?” Chenle asked. He watched as Mark’s smile fell.</p><p>“Actually there’s nothing much to it. Just a night where students can get out of their academic responsibilities and you know, be stupid teens. And there’s a lot of performances, too. Sometimes, they get real artists like rappers, singers, or idols to heat it up, but sometimes they don’t. It just depends on how hardworking the current student council president is.” Mark explained.</p><p>“Well, Jaemin seems hardworking. Should I expect great performances?” Chenle said, recalling the few times that he saw Jisung’s friend. And he always looked busy with the planning so Chenle guesses there might be a big surprise tonight.</p><p>Chenle looked at Donghyuck who wasn’t practicing his piece at all. He was just pressing his fingers on random keys.</p><p>“Donghyuck, are you okay? Why are you so quiet?” Chenle asked him after a while. Mark also looked at his direction in concern. Donghyuck looked surprised when he called him. </p><p>He faintly smiled at them and said before walking out, “It’s okay. I think I’m just gonna stay at the clinic and sleep there.” Mark followed him out and Chenle just shrugged. He noticed that he left the music sheet. Chenle took it, intending to return it to Donghyuck when he asks for it later.</p><p>He sat in the now empty piano seat, and started playing. With each key he pressed, the more free he felt. He felt relieved that he can now smile again while playing the piano. This is the feeling he missed, the feeling why he still kept on playing the piano now. It gave him freedom. The same thing he was deprived of each time the incident played in the back of his mind.</p><p>He wanted out of that dark hole. But how, when all this time he was just suppressing the memory of that night and not facing it head on?</p><p> </p><p>That night, Chenle nodded in approval when he walked towards the school grounds which was decorated prettily with lights and tables filled with snacks lined on one side of it. He is definitely going to devour all of that later. First, he had to find Jisung.</p><p>He amazingly looked around while searching for that tall figure, appreciating the hard efforts the council had made to make this night possible. Lights were strewn across the trees of the school grounds, making a fantastical touch to the place. The colored lanterns placed in random places made the place livelier with a touch of color. A stage was structured in front, quite empty except for a grand piano in the side. Chenle guesses it was for Donghyuck’s opening performance.</p><p>He found Jisung near the stage, his awkward frame looking at the student council’s area. “Jisung!” he called for him.</p><p>When Jisung turned his head to look for the source of the voice though, Chenle was captured by his look. There was something in the beauty of the night and the effect of the lights that made Chenle look at Jisung in a way that he had not before. He captured his breath, that night.</p><p>But who captures whose breath is up to debate. Because Jisung too, was captivated by the purple-colored boy.</p><p>“You look special.” Jisung said in one breath. Special? Well, that’s one word he had not expected to come out of his mouth. He would have said beautiful, but feared it might become awkward.</p><p>Chenle chuckled and told him, “In my jeans? Okay.” They both laughed at that.</p><p>They talked about other things for a moment. Their eyes continued to stare at each other, silently knowing that tonight is different for them. Chenle thinks this is why the annual school concert is ‘the’ big night. It gives off a certain magic that only the two of them can feel.</p><p><em> Does Jisung feel it too?, </em>he panics for a second.</p><p>He did not have the time to entertain the thought though because they were interrupted by a certain student council president followed by his batch representative. Something was wrong, Chenle and Jisung noticed by the problematic look in their faces.</p><p>Sure enough, Jaemin informed them, “Donghyuck is burning with fever tonight. He can’t make it for the opening performance. The line-up is doomed.” He said that in a neutral tone which surprised that duo. It was like he was only informing them that the tteokbokki is sold out in the cafeteria.</p><p>Jisung was first to question, “What happens now?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Jaemin laughed. He side-eyed Jeno and chuckled to himself, “Why the hell did I become the president again?”</p><p>“Donghyuck’s performance is special to the concert. The opening performance should always be a new arrangement of one of the movements among the school’s winter sonata to welcome the coming season.” Jeno explained. Jisung and Chenle did not even know the school has its own sonata. Who would’ve guessed that they’re so high class? “With that gone, it would totally deviate from a traditional school concert. Which would probably be bad for Jaemin’s name.”</p><p>“Can’t you just look for another pianist?” Jisung asked.</p><p>“We don’t even have the music sheet for Hyuck’s arrangement. Making someone improvise an arrangement in thirty minutes would be impossible.” Jaemin said, almost giving up. There’s no way they could save the tradition. He should be getting ready to be scolded by the teachers.</p><p>Chenle remembered the sheet that suddenly felt heavy in his bag. He forgot to drop by the clinic this afternoon so the sheet is still with him. He brought it out of his bag and spoke out, “Uhm, I happen to have the sheet.”</p><p>Jaemin and Jeno looked at him suddenly filled with hope. A sudden thought came to Jeno and deflated just as quickly. He told them reasonably, “I think no one would agree to perform the piece while sight-reading that. They don’t even know what it’s supposed to sound like in the first place.” </p><p>It effectively killed Jaemin’s hope. He knew that it was too much of a request for anyone. Chenle nodded, understanding what Jeno said. As far as he knew, Hyuck tried to keep the arrangement secret and the only ones who knew what it sounded like are Mark and Chenle. Meanwhile, Jisung looked at Chenle, deciding whether to voice out what he thought or not.</p><p>“...Chenle knows how it sounds like.” Jisung finally said, remembering one of their earlier conversations. Chenle froze.</p><p>“Okay but can he play the piano?” Jaemin sassily asked him, knowing that Chenle was definitely not on the list of their possible performers when they were finalizing the line-up.</p><p>Jisung ignored him and looked at Chenle’s eyes. He gently told him, “Chenle, I know that you are not confident with your piano skills. But I have heard it a lot now and I can totally say that you are the best that I have ever heard. I do not want to force this on you, but I’m just really proud of your talent and I want for others to notice it too.” Jisung said, firmly believing the lie Chenle told him that he was only unconfident. “Your music is wonderful, Chenle. Can you play tonight and let them experience that same magic I felt?”</p><p>Chenle was silent. He did not know what to do. It was the first time someone asked him again to play in front of a crowd. Alone, he knows that he can play Hyuck’s arrangement perfectly. He has the melody memorized now after hearing him practice it several times. But can he do it in front of the whole school? With that he’s not sure.</p><p>Jaemin looked at Chenle’s face. His face was stoic and with every second, any semblance of hope that Jaemin was feeling was slipping away from him. He sighed and turned his back. He is not that desperate to force an unwilling person to save him.</p><p>Jaemin and Jeno were about to walk away when they heard Chenle’s voice saying, “I’ll do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Chenle was alone in the backstage, looking at the music notes in the sheet. He felt so anxious thinking about playing in front of everyone. What if he makes a mistake again? The incident starts to creep from the back of his mind. He closed his eyes, willing for them to come back to the darkness. But he failed. He was the one that was starting to come back to the darkness. It was like he was in the competition again. Stepping to the stage proud and confident, until that wrong note changed everything.</p><p>He heard the voice of Jaemin shouting orders from a distance. Chenle opened his eyes. <em> Right. </em> He was at the school’s backstage. <em> Remember that, </em> Chenle told him himself, <em> you’re not in the competition hall but in school’s improvised stage, you’re not in China but in Korea, you’re not known to everyone and you can play however here. No expectations, Chenle. No whispers of disappointment after the performance. </em> </p><p>Chenle clasped his hands together and tried to remember all the times he successfully finished playing a piece in his home. He asks himself to remember them and be confident.</p><p> </p><p>Among the audience, Jisung looked for Renjun who arrived in time for the concert. It proved to be a bit difficult as more students come. Everyone was aggressive about claiming a good spot where they can see the stage. Some were even pushing. And honestly, Jisung would not have tolerated the wild crowd if it weren’t for his friends who insisted him to come and especially Chenle who will be performing later.</p><p>Finally finding him, they exchanged greetings and caught up with his month in China. Renjun told him about his escapades with his boyfriend and the places they have been to. It’s like they both forgot that they’re students that have responsibilities. Must be nice, Jisung thinks, to just ignore everything.</p><p>“But I’m here now and I made a deal with my parents to focus until I graduate. Right,” Renjun started “I heard Zhong Chenle is the new student?”</p><p>Jisung asked him, “Yeah. How do you know him?”</p><p>Renjun gasped at him before saying, “How dare you not know Zhong Chenle? He is that boy who I’ve always been compared to as a child musician. And he is so good! I’ve actually heard him in a few of his recitals and I always leave in awe every time! I was so disappointed when I heard he was not playing for some time now. He has a bright career, you know? It’s honestly such a pity.” Jisung of course did not know because he does not know anything about the classical music scene.</p><p>Jisung laughed at him and told him, “I think we’re not talking about the same Zhong Chenle. The Chenle you know must be confident to play, but the Chenle here? He would think twice before playing the piano.”  </p><p>Renjun glared at him. “Don’t laugh. I think it’s the same Zhong Chenle. I heard from some musician friends that he slipped a wrong note in his last performance. That might be for you is another simple mistake, but I think for the golden boy, it is a hard slap in the face. He was always praised for his perfect playing. I guess that hit him so hard he has not been seen in public for a while now. Not even in his Chinese school. I guess the embarrassment made him move countries.”</p><p>Jisung tried to clarify, “Is the Zhong Chenle you’re talking about has that bright smile only he can pull off?”</p><p>“Boy, he was known for it.”</p><p>Jisung looked at him for a good minute before the reality dawned to him. He grabbed Renjun by the arm and told him, “I think I made a mistake.” Suddenly, guilt came creeping into him. He set up Chenle without even asking about what he feels.</p><p>“What did you do?” Renjun asked alarmingly. He knew Jisung does not always make mistakes. And if he does, it is not that simple of a matter.</p><p>“Chenle is playing tonight because I insisted.” Jisung told him and that was the moment they knew they screwed up. No one between the two of them knows the true extent of Chenle’s feelings about the incident and in playing the piano generally. But from what they can gather is that Chenle made efforts to isolate himself from the industry and not be recognized as a pianist. That means a lot.</p><p>But before they could do anything, they heard Jeno’s voice announcing the first performance of the night- and it’s Chenle. Confronted with no choices, Jisung and Renjun stood still in their spots while they stared at the stage. </p><p>They watched as Chenle’s familiar figure walked towards the grand piano. Jisung instantly felt something was wrong with him. Chenle’s expression was devoid of any emotions, his eyes focused on the piano keys and lips pursed into a straight line. It was the first time Jisung saw him like that. Chenle was always bright, his personality a testament to his vibrant hair.</p><p>“He’s so stiff. He used to always smile before playing.” Renjun commented. Jisung felt a twinge of jealousy. Renjun has already seen Chenle playing in his glorious days, but he only heard his unconfident music after the incident. He set it aside. Tonight, his focus is on Chenle.</p><p>“Should we turn off the electricity?” Jisung asked Rejun who only tossed him a ridiculous look. “Like in the movies?” he said and Renjun just chose to ignore his friend. Why are intelligent people so stupid? He felt thankful he does not have enough brain power for that.</p><p>They both sighed in relief when Chenle successfully sat down, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and played the first note. Maybe they were overreacting. Maybe they underestimated him. Jisung smiled. The figure of Chenle playing the piano was a scene so familiar to him yet strange. But mostly, he was glad that Chenle was okay.</p><p> </p><p>But Chenle is far from okay. His heart was pacing fast to the point that he could barely hear the notes that he was playing. His shoulders and hands were stiff, but he still forced them to press the correct keys. He was trying to keep his mind blank, but all he could hear was the whispers from that night. He shouted to himself, <em> You’re not there! You’re here in the school! No expectations! </em>, but all of those were refused to be processed by his mind.</p><p>Chenle can feel all of the stares of the people watching him. It felt so heavy, like an anchor making him stay in the darkness. His eyes smoothly moved back and forth from the sheet to the keys, but his sight started to become blurry. Was he even playing the right notes? Is he staying on the right rhythm? He does not know anymore. It was like all of the feelings he has repressed in the past month suddenly exposed themselves in full force. He does not know how to label it. </p><p>No. He is afraid to label it.</p><p>Whatever it is, it was starting to be heavier than what he could handle. So he stopped. Chenle just stopped playing. The next moment, all he could hear was deafening silence. The audience was confused.<em> Was that the end? It did not even exceed two minutes? </em> And as Chenle predicted, he heard everyone murmuring. He could not even understand a single word from their mouths but he instantly thought, <em> I failed again. </em></p><p>So he did what he wanted to do that night. He allowed himself to run. Chenle ran away from the stage, away from the piano, away from everyone, and he just… ran.</p><p> </p><p>He found himself in the same music room that he and Jisung would always hang out. It was dark with only the moonlight lighting the room. He laughed out loud at himself for being ironic. He ran from the piano just to be near to another piano? </p><p>He sat on the floor while facing the piano as he lamented, <em> ah… why did I have to get everything wrong? </em>However, for some reason, he felt better than he did that forsaken night. He guessed that running away made it more tolerable. He probably ruined the start of the event. Should he apologize to Jaemin? He kinda does not want to though. Chenle wants to feel validated for finally running away and acknowledging that he made a mistake would be against that.</p><p>He felt someone sat down beside him. He turned to look at the person. Not at all expecting who he saw.</p><p>“Hey,” Ten greeted “My company is one of the sponsors in your event, remember?” </p><p>Chenle turned away from his gaze, returning his stare to the piano in the middle of the room. He really does not want to talk.</p><p>“I saw what happened and figured that I really do not want my nephew to suffer alone.” Ten continued. “Your fathers strived for perfection too, you know?”</p><p>Chenle’s attention perked up and continued to listen, “Kun would go crazy on his music productions. Doyoung would re-record every track until he nailed the emotions and technicalities. They were like that, until they lost themselves. They lost track of what was important.”</p><p>“What was important for them?” asked Chenle. Ten smiled at him and looked straight at his eyes.</p><p>“Happiness,” he answered shortly, “They were too lost on the little details and forgot how to enjoy what they were doing.”</p><p>Chenle felt ashamed. He knew Ten was implying that he also lost himself. He could not even deny it. He asked him, “How did they gain back their happiness?”</p><p>Ten stood up, and sat at the piano seat. He ignored what Chenle asked and questioned him, “What is your dream?”</p><p>“To be a perfect pianist.”</p><p>“No one is perfect.” Ten smiled at him, “You know, I asked you the same thing when you were five.”</p><p>Chenle does not even remember meeting him when he was five so he asked, “What did I tell you?”</p><p>“That you dream of music.” The two of them were silent for a while. “It makes me think that you still have the same dream with only a different way of achieving it. Why do you want to be a perfect pianist?”</p><p>Chenle stared at him, “Because people only listen to the best. By being perfect, I will be heard and I will be able to make them feel my music.”</p><p>Without saying anything, Ten started playing the piano in front of him. The piece was nothing impressive. It was an improvisation by the older man, but Chenle did not know that. Chenle watched him play. Ten does not look like a proper pianist, his posture sloppy and his rhythm fluctuating at times. But Chenle still listened until Ten finished his piece.</p><p>Ten stated, “You listened.” Chenle looked at him questioningly and Ten told him, “I’m not a perfect pianist. I did not receive the training you did. I did not practice as much as you had. I did not even have a proper piece in my mind. I am not perfect, but you stayed and listened to me. Chenle, we don’t listen to music because it is constructed to perfection. We listen to music because they are raw and free. Even your classical pieces? They are not perfect. Everyone has their own interpretations for each piece.”</p><p>Chenle looked at the ground, “...but I have disappointed them.”</p><p>Ten stood up and approached him. He hugged Chenle as he said, “You disappointed no one. In fact, everyone’s looking forward to hearing your next piece. The one that you would call yours, and not something that came out of a printed music sheet.”</p><p>With Ten’s hug, he felt comfort like never before. The tears that were once unshed went streaming down his face. But he was not hurt anymore. And that is the only important thing right now. </p><p> </p><p>That weekend, Chenle did not touch the piano in his room but just admired it. The feelings of uneasiness did not magically disappear but he fared better now. He smiled brightly. It was the same bright smile he always wore, well, until that night. He did not even notice that he was forcing it out for this past month. Now, he can finally smile without faking it. Inside, he knows he will be okay. Not today, but someday soon. </p><p>For now, he chooses to play his beloved PUBG. </p><p>The next school day came before he even knew it. As he walked through the hallways, he felt the curious stares of the students at him. He did not mind though. His mood is too good to be ruined by anyone. Chenle did not know what happened at the school concert after he walked away and he is not even a bit curious about it.</p><p>Donghyuck came running to him out of nowhere and pulled him into a hug. Chenle briefly wondered if he knew what happened to him but was stopped when he heard Donghyuck tell him, “Thank you for saving me, Lele!” Chenle awkwardly patted him. He did not even know if he saved him or ruined the night further.</p><p>“Are you feeling okay now?” Chenle just checked up anyway even knowing that Donghyuck surely feels okay now by the way he hugged him so tight.</p><p>“Yeah, it was just a fever. Nothing much.” Donghyuck answered after he let go of Chenle. Chenle weirdly looked at him when he exaggeratedly gasped and playfully slapped Chenle’s arm. “You did not even tell me that you can play the piano. Were you silently judging me, huh?”</p><p>Chenle laughed at him and decided to joke around, “Yeah, you played sloppily I almost pushed you out of the chair.” Hyuck scoffed and held him on an armlock. </p><p>“You brat! I dare you tell me that again!” Donghyuck threatened him but Chenle just kept laughing at him. He tried getting out of Hyuck’s chokehold but realized that Hyuck was not as weak as he looks. Eventually, his futile attempts made them look like idiots circling around the hallway.</p><p>In the middle of the crowd, a familiar person came striding towards them. The person dramatically cried out, “Chenle!” and it effectively loosened Hyuck’s grip on the boy. He then asked Chenle while they stared weirdly at the coming figure, “Since when was the student council president this weird and caring over you?”</p><p>Chenle replied a confused “I don’t know, but it lowkey activates my fight-or-flight response.” He did not know why Jaemin was acting like that. It does not seem like he’s getting ready to scold the purple-haired boy but it also does not seem like <em> anything </em> at all.</p><p>“Fight or flight?” Hyuck asked, readying his feet to run.</p><p>“Flight.” The duo turned their backs to flee from Jaemin but in no more than 5 steps, another pair of arms stopped them from going further. They were met with a pair of eyes smiling so much it turned into crescents. The duo huffed. It had to be Jeno.</p><p>“Why are you helping him?” Chenle complained, thinking that Jeno being here is out of place. He was supposed to be that one student who only knows his student organization responsibilities.</p><p>“Why are you running?” Jeno asked him back. Chenle shut up. He also did not know.</p><p>“Why am I still here?” Donghyuck asked them. Chenle and Jeno looked at him irritatedly. </p><p>Soon enough, Jaemin caught up with the three of them. He singled out on Chenle and hugged him tight. For Chenle, the action is very much welcome in consideration of last Friday’s events but all he could say was, “Are you this normally weird?”</p><p>Jaemin chose to ignore the question and told him, “I’m sorry for forcing you to play.”</p><p>“No, you did not force me to play! It was my choice. And for the most part, I was thankful that I got to play that night. It woke me up like a good slap of water does.” Chenle said, but he was met with two skeptical pairs of eyes and one confused pair. “Really! If someone has to apologize, it would be me for ruining the night you planned for weeks.”</p><p>Jaemin shook his head and smirked looking at Jeno, “Oh you made my night better.” Chenle noticed that Jeno looked away blushing. Okay, what the hell happened when he ran away?</p><p>Donghyuck took the hint and laughed, “Are you talking about how Chenle stopped playing, left then Jeno took the stage to sing for a certain ‘president’? Chenle does not know about this? Even I have heard about this and I wasn’t even there!”</p><p>That surprised Chenle. Among all scenarios he imagined in his mind, he did not certainly think of that. A teasing smile suddenly grew in his face, raised his eyebrows and said, “Oh, ohh, ooohhhh…” purposely dragging the syllable longer.</p><p>Jeno blushed harder. “Don’t look at me like that! It’s not like you two don’t have boyfriends to know what it’s like.”</p><p>Donghyuck replied, acting offended, “Do we look like someone with boyfriends to you?”</p><p>Jaemin was curious and chimed in immediately, “You and Mark are not in a relationship?”</p><p>With that question, Chenle and Donghyuck laughed. They have always known that everyone outside their circle thinks that Hyuck and Mark are in a relationship. It’s just so funny for them that this is the first time they were asked if it was true. Hyuck vaguely replied with an “It's complicated.”</p><p>“It’s honestly stupid.” Chenle added.</p><p>Another person joined in the group and asked, “What’s stupid?”. The people turned to look at the source of the voice and found it was the devil, Mark. “Right, Chenle. I heard you played for Donghyuck last Friday? I heard you were amazing! It’s sad that I did not get to watch because I was taking care of Hyuck.”</p><p>The group turned to Donghyuck with knowing stares. Donghyuck was first to reply, “You. You’re stupid.” and dragged the confused Mark away. Chenle shouted a ‘thanks’ as they watched them walk away.</p><p>The three, Chenle, Jeno and Jaemin, looked at each other. Jeno started with, “Chenle, I hope that you’re feeling well now. We were so worried about your expression when you left the stage. You were so blank and cold.”</p><p>Chenle smiled for their concern. He felt loved, and at that moment he knew that he was not alone. “Thank you. I feel better now though. Really. Don’t worry about me!” and he means it. That night, he might have felt the worst but after he talked to Ten he found a newfound motivation to life.</p><p>Jaemin faked a cough to gain their attention. “I think it’s time for me to tell you that Jisung was worried sick for days. He did not even let me rest!”</p><p>“Oh?” Chenle enunciated, full of interest with the subject. He hasn't heard of Jisung in the past few days which was not typical of their dynamic since they would regularly message each other on weekends. Frankly, Chenle was not feeling good about the lack of communication from Jisung.</p><p>“In his defense, his smarty brain told him that you needed space. He really believed that. Yeah. I know. He is so intelligent that he does not seem to understand what comfort means.” Jaemin said sarcastically. “He also told me to tell you that he’s waiting for you at the music room. I was supposed to tell you that about an hour ago but who cares right? Let him keep waiting for you.” </p><p>With that, Jaemin and Jeno said their goodbyes and walked off to their classes. In their absence, Chenle pondered to himself, “I have a class in five minutes though?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Of course, as a good student that he is, he skipped that class. He figured that Jisung is more important than a stupid math class even if it was thought by his favorite Moon-songsaengnim. After all, no math equation can solve real life relationships.</p><p><em>Why is Jisung being so dramatic he even ordered Jaemin around?</em> <em>It does not feel like him at all.</em></p><p>While wondering what Jisung had planned, he arrived at the music room. He stopped in front of the door. He finds it amazing- how this same music room became a testament to his growth. Chenle has never once in his life expected that he would have a connection with a simple room, but here he is now- having a room that watched as he started a new, pretended to be okay, and even broke down to pieces. He thought, <em> what now? Would I be falling in love next? </em></p><p>Shaking his head at the thought, he turned the knob and opened the door. Like it was a cue, Jisung started pressing on the piano. He looked picturesque- a handsome boy playing the grand piano in the middle of a room where sunlight streams through the windows. Anyone would be in awe, but Chenle looked at him and almost laughed because of the cute scene in front of his eyes.</p><p>Jisung was playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on piano.</p><p>Chenle watched him with a bright smile. Jisung was taking it slow, like he would be making a mistake if he did it any faster. His eyes were entirely focused on the piano keys, his head so low that Chenle doubts if he heard him come in. Chenle faintly hears Jisung say rhythmically, “C C G G A A G, F F E E D...”</p><p>Chenle walked towards the piano, and sat beside Jisung. Jisung abruptly stopped and looked at the purple haired boy. Without saying anything further, Chenle told him to “Keep playing.”</p><p>Jisung did. Chenle positioned his hands on the right part of the keys, making himself ready to play the higher notes. At first, he copied the melody but only in a different key. After completing one round of the song, Chenle added more flair to the nursery rhyme. He first tried adding a soft harmony to it which fit perfectly. Chenle felt content, but as it goes on, he felt more free. His melody became livelier and faster, guiding Jisung to be confident and making him follow his rhythm. At one point, they looked at each other’s eyes, unhiding the mirth they were feeling at the moment. Their smiles were dazzling, like nothing else can destroy the bubble that they have built.</p><p>“...how I wonder what you are.” Chenle sang, ending the song in a soft tone. The room slipped into a comfortable silence. With the silence, they suddenly became aware of their shoulders and arms touching each other due to the small seat. Neither of them wanted to move, still basking in the exhilarating joy the duet gave them.</p><p>Chenle never felt like that before. He has played a lot of classical pieces, but none of them gave him the joy he has felt from the nursery rhyme. It was free. There were no techniques to be wary of, no worrying behind the best interpretation, no technicalities to mind. There were just his emotions, the piano, and Jisung.</p><p>Jisung looked at him, not knowing what was in Chenle’s mind while he stared at the piano with a ghost of a smile in his face. For Jisung, he cannot believe that he was part of the most beautiful music that he has ever heard. Now, he is ready to debate with those books who said that perfection does not exist. What did happen just now, if not for perfection anyway?</p><p>Chenle broke the silence first and stated, “You learned.”</p><p>“Yeah. I almost broke the replay button of the Youtube video I looked up.” Jisung said. No one around him played the piano so he sought answers to Youtube just like the teenager that he is. Meanwhile, Chenle found it impressive that he taught himself. He can’t even imagine himself doing that. “I’m sorry that it was not perfect.”</p><p>Chenle smiled as he mimicked Ten’s words that night, “No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect.”</p><p>“But you said your dream is to be a perfect pianist.” Jisung pointed out.</p><p>“Oh, it changed. For now, I just want to focus on exploring music. I want to find what music I want my audience to hear. The Chenle right now only dreams of music.” Chenle said before asking “Why did you though? Why go through all those efforts?”</p><p>There was a bit of silence that followed the question Chenle asked.</p><p>“For you.” Jisung answered. “I don’t know what to say for you to cheer up so I thought a lot about it. I figured that you have always been with music. It is basically your best friend, someone who has always been with you. I thought, maybe you will find solace in music more than in what any person does.”</p><p>Chenle looked away, trying to hide his eyes that were tearing up. But, Jisung noticed it. He started becoming nervous. Did he say something wrong? <em> Ah, Jisung. You’re really bad with words. You should’ve kept your mouth shut! </em></p><p>Jisung cautiously asked, “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Y-yeah,” Chenle tried to normalize his voice but it broke in the middle. He gave up hiding his emotions and looked at him “It’s just that it’s the first time somebody thought that hard to comfort me. It makes my heart feel weird.”</p><p>Chenle’s tears came in slowly, just like his emotions that he has decided to slowly let out now. <em> No façades, </em>it was what he promised himself when he came home last Friday. No more pretending that he is okay. No more faking smiles. No more escaping.</p><p>Jisung did not know what to do when he saw Chenle crying. He tried going through all of the literature that he read, coming up with one answer.</p><p>He hugged him. It was awkward, with him never being the one who initiates hugs. He slowly patted his back, like what he had seen in movies.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Chenle asked him, his tears stopping because of confusion.</p><p>Jisung says softly while he pats Chenle’s back, “Science says a hug makes another person happy.”</p><p>Chenle chuckled because it was obvious that Jisung is not the type to act like this and he comments, “You suck at cheering people up.”</p><p>Jisung nodded at what Chenle said, fully acknowledging his lack of skills at comforting people. He decided to only defend himself with, “Yeah, because books don’t really teach that.”</p><p>Chenle laughed, “I need to buy you some self-help books. No more calculus or biology textbooks for you.”</p><p>“Please don’t.” Jisung pleaded.</p><p>They laughed at each other as they hugged, with Chenle’s cheeks still stained with dried tears and Jisung’s eyes desperate as he convinced Chenle not to buy those self-help books.</p><p>They only broke up when they heard the familiar voice of Teacher Kim Doyoung shouting, “Who’s in the music room? You kids should be in your classrooms!”. And Jisung and Chenle knew they’re screwed up when they saw that there’s nowhere they could hide.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>A month after the school concert, the event was mostly forgotten by the students as they continued to live, or struggle exams-after-exams.</p><p>After their mind-wracking Science exam, Chenle and Jisung chose to hang out at their favorite music room. Chenle was practicing the piano while Jisung read a self-help book Chenle personally picked. It was an ordinary peaceful afternoon.</p><p>Chenle suddenly stopped and for a moment, only the humming of the electric fan in the room can be heard. Like something was in his mind, he looked outside the window. Hoping an answer would come out as he asked himself, <em> Is today a right day to confess? </em></p><p>“Hey, Jisung.” called Chenle finally after minutes of stopping from his practice.</p><p>“Hmm?” Jisung hummed as he flipped to the next page of the book he’s reading. For this particular situation, Chenle feels annoyed at the fact that he bought that book for him.</p><p>Chenle sighed and told him, “Listen to this”. He positioned himself and started playing.</p><p>Jisung stopped at what he was doing and listened intently at the piece Chenle was playing. It bears an elegant melody, soft but dedicated like what Jisung hears from those sappy movies his mother watches. Chenle moved his hands fluidly, like he was caressing the fragile emotions of the piece. His expression was melancholic, like he was in the middle of a sweet dream.</p><p>It was like Jisung saw Chenle again for the first time, in the same room they first met.</p><p>Chenle pressed on the final note, the melody still lingers in their heads. He nervously asked Jisung, “What do you think about it?”</p><p>Jisung, who knows nothing of piano pieces commented, “Great. What are you playing that for?”</p><p><em> Great, </em>the word replays in Chenle’s mind. He felt like he was having a headache. He glares at the book Jisung put down beside him. Should he have bought the ‘Piano for Dummies’ book instead of those self-help books for Jisung?</p><p>He patiently told the taller boy, “It’s called Salut d’Amour which is Love Greetings in translation. Edward Elgar wrote this as an engagement present for his fiancee at that time, and later wife. The first time I heard this, I told myself that ‘Ah he must have truly loved his wife’ because the melody itself reeks of love. I envied them, you know? Because to compose a piece like that which truly resonates with the audience, the composer’s emotions must not only be real, but also strong. So for me, this is the piece I’ve always wanted to confess my love with.” <em> Please take the hint </em>, Chenle wished earnestly.</p><p>He watched as Jisung nodded at what he said, “I see. That was beautiful. Anyone wouldn’t be able to resist.”</p><p>Chenle smiled sarcastically as he looked at the innocent Jisung. Does he really have to dumb it down for him?</p><p>“I just played it right.” Chenle pointed out.</p><p>“You did, and you did great.” Jisung replied. Chenle winced as he heard ‘great’ again, already thinking of buying Jisung a dictionary so that he could widen that vocabulary.</p><p>“Stop saying the word great.”</p><p>“But it’s great.” Jisung insisted while Chenle resisted the urge to throw his music sheet to him.</p><p>Chenle patiently asked, “Jisung, can you read between the lines?”</p><p>“Huh? What lines?”</p><p>Chenle puffed as he shouted at him, “I like you, idiot!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! &lt;3 This is my first story and I really hope I did Chenji justice.</p><p>Here are links for piano vids I drew inspiration from:<br/>Twinkle Twinkle Little Star: https://youtu.be/-_w1i6KRIAk?t=8<br/>Salut d'Amour: https://youtu.be/8P6PFNNCrgs</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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